People sometimes make a statement that startles me and leaves me reflecting on how I can help them clear up their thinking.
In response to a piece of good news a terribly unhappy young woman once told me,“I should be happy” obviously omitting the tacit end of her statement, “but I am not.” The good news alone could have brought happiness but did not because of her life circumstances. Instead, the result was a flood of tears. The contrast between her rational mind’s idea “I should be happy” and the reality of her overwhelming sadness, left her confused and paralyzed.
Emotions like happiness are not products of rational will. Emotions arrive unannounced as agitations of the mind, feelings or passions. The main families of emotions are anger, sadness, fear, enjoyment, love, surprise, disgust and shame. Implicit in each emotion is the impulse to act. By accepting and patiently investigating her emotions, she will be able to gather useful information motivating her to take appropriate action to construct for herself a truly happy life.
Debra BERG, The Bilingual Psychologist in Paris